Do all women ejaculate?

The evidence is inconclusive on whether all women have the ability to ejaculate. If the presence of fructose is designed to play an important role in reproduction, one might hypothesize that all women should have the ability to ejaculate, barring those with physical anomalies, removed Skene’s Glands, disease, or hereditary disorders. However, in some studies researchers did not notice expulsion of fluid during stimulation.
In the Secrets of Sensual Lovemaking, The Ultimate in Female Ecstasy, author Leonardi states: “...a combination of physical technique and psychological security were absolutely necessary in order for a woman to have ejaculatory orgasms.” Many of the accounts in Mr. Leonardi’s book indicate the need for a strong emotional bond to be established prior to successful female ejaculations.
If this is true, it could explain why some laboratory studies fail, whereas others (conducted in a more natural atmosphere) can often succeed, especially those done by researchers who willingly provide “in home” examination or testing. (As demonstrated in the 10-step technique, we feel emotional bonding is a key ingredient to success). It has also been hypothesized that, because many woman are reclined during intercourse or stimulation, the fluid is retrogradeejaculated into the bladder and is later released during urination.
In The G Spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality, the authors state: “Some women may experience retrograde ejaculation if the fluid shoots into the bladder rather than out the
urethra. ”. This condition might be characterized by a woman feeling a need to urinate after orgasm, but, when doing so, only releasing a small amount of clear or milky fluid. Along these lines, Cabello, author of Female Ejaculation, Myth or Reality, tested the hypothesis that all women may ejaculate, but some may retrograde ejaculate and therefore might be unaware of the ejaculation, since the fluid becomes mixed with urine in the bladder and is later released during urination.
Of 212 completed and usable surveys we received in doing research for this guide, 48% of women responding reported either they did not ejaculate or were unsure if they had ejaculated. On the opposite side of the gamut, 5% reported ejaculating before orgasm and 47% reported ejaculating during G-Spot orgasm. Of these 110 women who reported ejaculating, 101 reported the incident was their first known ejaculation. Eight others stated they had ejaculated in the past, while one woman informed us she commonly ejaculates with stimulation of the breasts, clitoris, and vagina.

The Phenomenon of Female Ejaculation

Beyond intimacy, one other clarification needs to be made before we start covering the technique. Modern society tends to propel the myth that G-Spot orgasms and female ejaculation are the same occurrence. And while the two often do occur together, it’s important to realize they are separate wonders—not one entity. For simplification, we’ll explore this topic through a “question/answer” format.
If G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation aren’t the same, what exactly is “Female Ejaculation”?
Female ejaculation occurs when a women “ejaculates” fluid (usually different than urine) from her urethra during sexual arousal or orgasm.
Where does this fluid come from?
Surrounding the urethra and running to the neck of the bladder lies a network of glands, ducts, and nerves called the “Skene’s Paraurethral Glands”. As we mentioned earlier, these glands are the female counterparts to the male prostrate. The Skene’s Glands are the source of female ejaculate.
If it’s not urine, what is this fluid?
The fluid is typically described as “clear” or “milky”, having little or no odor, and a sweet taste. However, as with male secretion, the taste may change due to dietary intake or possibly as part of the menstruation cycle. The primary chemical makeup of the fluid is glucose, fructose,
prostate specific antigen (PSA) and prostatic acid phosphatase (PAP). The fluid may also contain traces of urine.
Interestingly enough, fructose is one of the components present in male ejaculation. Its primary job is to mobilize the spermatozoa. While it was once believed that male fructose was the sole propellant of spermatozoa, the presence of fructose in female ejaculate would evidence the contrary. Instead of passively waiting for spermatozoa to “swim” to the egg, the female plays an equally active role in the reproduction process by infusing her own fructose and ushering the spermatozoa’s movement, thus increasing the probability for successful fertilization.
Because of this, we feel the physical purpose of female ejaculation is to aid in the mobilization of spermatozoa. And while it may not be scientifically proven, it stands to reason that stimulation
of the G-Spot and the female prostate may be a beneficial pursuit for couples facing problems with conception.
As another interesting note, early forensic medicine checked rape victims (and/or spots on their clothing) for the presence of acid phosphatase, to prove rape had occurred. Research on female ejaculate has since proven this test has no forensic value since female ejaculation contains acid phosphatase.

To Orgasm, or Not to Orgasm?

That is the question many people ask themselves during intercourse. Because you purchased this book, it’s highly probable you would enjoy seeing your mate experience a “blended orgasm”.
And it warrants mentioning here, your display of unselfishness and caring is commendable. However, while the thought of seeing our mate experience a blended G-Spot/clitoral orgasm may be appealing, we must learn to “walk” before we can “run”.
As we learn to “walk”, the first mental step is learning and accepting that people choose to orgasm. Deciding to orgasm is a personal choice. No one can “give” or “will” another person an orgasm—no more than you could “will” a stranger to remove their clothing.
We each make individual choices concerning “if” or “when” we will achieve orgasm—often without conscious deliberation of the subject. For those who are highly orgasmic, the sheer act of
removing clothing (or allowing it to be removed) may mark the decision. For others, the decision may not be concluded until stimulation or coitus is underway and “the waters are tested”, often mere seconds before orgasm. Others release their reservations in layers. Like an autumn tree shedding its leaves, they slowly drop inhibitions, as they grow resoundingly secure and comfortable with the relationship. And yet others refuse ever to relinquish control, usually from fear of self-humiliation, or to avoid appearing too “wanton” or “loose”. Along the way to making the decision, there are several determining factors ensconced within the decision-making process. In order to “let go” and orgasm, most people need to feel secure with their partner. We need to feel good about ourselves, safe at the location, and comfortable with what’s happening to our bodies.
These factors are more prevalent if we’re with a new partner or trying a new experience. While “new” can be exciting, the excitement is fueled by the suspense of not knowing what to expect. And because we don’t know what to expect, we reserve judgment until late into the process.
All of this is important to consider as you administer the GSpot technique. As you may recall, one of the four most common descriptions we receive about the G-Spot experience is: “It felt very different from previous orgasms”. Because of this, at some unknown point while you’re applying the G-Spot technique, your partner will realize something new and very exciting is happening
to her. She will then have to decide whether “to orgasm, or not to orgasm”.
Deciding whether or not to reveal the G-Spot technique is up to you. If you tell your mate beforehand of your plans to administer the G-Spot technique, you may set up to be a victim of “orgasm anxiety” (discussed later). On the other hand, if she senses something new and unknown is happening to her (while you’re applying the G-Spot technique) she may “hold back” and delay or inhibit the orgasm due to the uncertainty of what she’s feeling.
It’s a catch-22 situation and you should remember this as you go. We recommend that you don’t initially mention your plan to administer the technique. Instead, be aware that at some point during your administration, she will sense this “new and exciting” wave of pleasure building within her. Watch for the signs of her uncertainty. When you see these signs, begin reassuring her that you know what’s occurring and understand it. (“I know what’s happening to you. It’s okay. I’m here. Just enjoy what you feel”).
The same thinking holds true with blended orgasms. While we encourage the pursuit of blended orgasms, don’t overwhelm her by trying to make the first G-Spot orgasm a “blended G-Spot/ clitoral orgasm”. Take it one step at a time. After she grows familiar with G-Spot experiences, gaining both confidence and understanding, she’ll be better suited (if not eager) to explore the bold world of blended orgasms.

HOW MASTURBATION HELPS MEN SEPARATE LOVE AND SEKs

Men’s deals with mother influence and distort their sexual lives too, but they don’t demand the sacrifice of masturbation, of the freedom to choose whether to touch themselves or not. Indeed, masturbation was one of the best tools the man had as a boy in learning emotional separation from mother.
He may begin life in love with mother, seeing himself mirrored in her eyes, even wanting to be like her, softness, empathy, and gentleness being what he loves most about her. But early on he learns he must be different, must go away from her, deny those feminine parts in himself that are like her. He must be “a little man.” The first and most obvious way he knows he is different from her and like a man is his penis. It is a visible sign, a familiar part of himself that he is used to touching, if only to urinate throughout the day.
By the time he is twelve or thirteen, he has learned that his penis has a life of its own. Without even being touched, his penis swells and ejaculates. It can be a frightening experience but a valuable lesson, too: his body is telling him that he is a sexual person unto himself. Before he even comprehends the meaning of sex, his body is teaching him. With his own hand he
gives himself an erection.
He may be filled with enormous guilt when he touches himself, but defying mother’s rules, risking the loss of her love, wins him something too: he now feels different from her, less feminine, more masculine. And besides, he soon finds that he has not lost her love at all. She does not abandon him! That was a baby boy’s fear, a bargain he made when he couldn’t live without
mommy. Well, life has taught him he can be sexual, different, and separate from her and be loved by her too. It is the learning process working at its best, practicing something again and again until finally it is believed.
Masturbation becomes part of growing up into his own male identity. It is the reality principle that most little girls dare not test. Soon, in the company of other little boys, he reinforces what he has been learning on his own. Masturbating together, competing with one another over who can shoot the farthest, being bad, being dirty – and no girls allowed! – becomes a preadolescent rite of passage away from women and into manhood.
In an interview, one man tells me that when he was twelve, he used to masturbate in the powder room, just a few feet away from where the family was having dinner. He could have gone upstairs, where he couldn’t hear them, where they couldn’t overhear him. But terrifying as it was, he needed to challenge his mother’s asexual rules, to have his orgasm on her territory,
her pretty powder room.
Yes, he would have aroused the wrath of his father, too, if he had been discovered. But his father’s rules had only recently entered his nearadolescent life. It was not his father who had bathed, fed, and loved him in the first years of life. It wasn’t father who had lovingly kissed his little penis after a sweet warm bath and then moments later taken the boy’s hand away from it. Mothers think these acts are innocent; but on such “innocence” (for which a father bathing his daughter would be jailed) is built a man’s lifelong confusion of women’s adoration and disapproval of his genitals. Whose penis is it anyway? In his defiant masturbation, he makes his
ownership absolutely clear.
Tough, macho slang for masturbation further enhances separation. “Jerking off,” “beating my meat,” “choking the chicken,” – any words that are dirty and different from “girl talk” are practiced again and again. The boy’s vocabulary may not be on target, but he wants the dirty word for the dirty act. Another man tells me that when he was eight or nine, he and his pals would stop in a hidden vacant lot on the way to school and have a group bowel movement. They called what they were doing the Fucking Club. All they knew was that it was bad. If the story offends your Nice Girl sensibility, that is exactly what the Fucking Club intended. Am I making a romantic idyll out of boyish masturbation, halcyon days of bonding in circle jerks? When I read these pages to my husband, he reminds me that not all boys have happy memories of either solitary or group masturbation. But how can a man understand what it’s like for us women? Surely, it is relative. Only recently have I begun to encounter women who njoyed the sexually freeing experience of sitting in a group with other little girls and masturbating. Yes, I understand the guilt the boy/man feels; I’ve read thousands of masturbatory fantasies that reflect the guilt, but they do it, they masturbate anyway and in spite of the guilt. And each time they do it, they learn once again the electric shock of orgasm, that they are sexually alive, all by themselves.
When young girls do come along, entering the boy’s life as abruptly as a devastatingly beautiful early spring day, he is overwhelmed with a mix of emotion. His desire for the girl has an intensity that pulls him away from the camaraderie of boys upon which he had come to depend; former com rades now become rivals. He wants the girl but doesn’t want to lose his still fresh independence.
Part of what he feels when he walks in the moonlight with the girl is a romantic rush, a human desire that is linked exclusively to neither male nor female. But for the boy romance threatens to pull him back into the female- dominated oneness from which he so recently escaped. Romance is a mystery. The sexual feeling, however, is not. When he puts his arm around the girl and kisses her, the other rush he feels is known, no mystery at all. It is a feeling that he recognizes because his penis is erect. Terrified as he may be of sexual intercourse, not yet even ready for it, he knows nonetheless that what he is feeling is exactly what he feels when he masturbates.

WHAT Woman WIN FROM MASTURBATION

Could the full-voiced women in this book give up the joy of masturbation? There is always some risk. Could men? Never. The fact that men masturbate is a given, as obvious as the penis between their legs. Mother may not like it when her little boy touches his penis; she tsk-tsks and takes his hand away, but ultimately she doesn’t want to interfere in her son becoming a man. What does she know about men? If anatomy is destiny, then man is destined to masturbate. He may do it with guilt and the torments of hell pounding in his ears, but he does it anyway. That is how men are, we shrug, animals, driven by their testosterone.
Society says it is not how women are. Since time began, a “good mother” takes her daughter’s hand away from her vagina with far more determination than she applies to her son and his penis. Mothers know everything there is to know about being a woman: Nice Women don’t masturbate.
That is why the women in this article are so significant historically. They are the first generation to grow up with a semblance of sexual acceptance, an ease with masturbation. Will they give their daughters a middle ground between madonna and whore? Will they change the course of women’s sexual history? It is by no means certain they will.
Seks and economics are inextricably linked. Today man’s economic supremacy is endangered. There is one known, tested solution that could return us to the good old days, for which some part of our unconscious still hankers because it was how our parents grew up and their parents before them: cut a woman off from her seks. Return women to our traditional asexual role, deprive us of the right to our own body, deprive us of contraceptive rights and the right to abortion, make seks the unenjoyable chore it once was. We will be on the fast track with our feet bound. We will be good wage earners, but remain chattel.
Does that sound extreme? I believe it is reality. Nor do I blame men alone for this growing tidal wave that may ultimately wash women back into some new form of sexual slavery; there are just as many women as men who would like to return us to that time when all women were equal in asexuality.
When I began this essay, I didn’t see female masturbation as the powerful symbol I now believe it to be. Until I saw a grotesque drawing of a woman’s genitals before and after a clitoridectomy, I had no image of the lengths to which people will go to keep women “in their place.” Surgically
remove all traces of seks from between a woman’s legs, wipe it clean so that nothing remains but a wound, a scarred slit, and wonder of wonders, the world can rest.
Today, as we are a more “enlightened” people, a mental clitoridectomy will suffice. Projected early enough onto a young female mind, the “ugly” slit between our legs is as untouchable as one of the vaginas butchered by the high-minded doctors of earlier times. Because the taboo against female masturbation is so deeply embedded, let us think of ways of not losing the ground we’ve so recently won as expressed by the young women in this book. Our best defense is to make ourselves so consciously aware of what masturbation wins for women that we can’t, won’t unconsciously slip back:
1. Masturbation teaches us that me are sexual all by ourselves, separate from anyone, including mother.
2. Masturbation is an excellent exercise in learning to separate love and sex, a lesson especially important for women mho confuse the two.
3. By teaching ourselves what excites us, me become more orgasmic and better sexual partners, responsible for our share, capable of giving pleasure, better able to give direction in what it is that excites us.
4. If we are loath to touch what lies between our legs, our revulsion spreads, leaving us eternally dissatisfied with the acceptability of the rest of our bodies.
5. Masturbation teaches us the difference between our clitoris, labia, urethra, and vagina.
6. Masturbation makes us far better candidates for contraceptive responsibility as well as for the sexual education of our children.
7. Last and most obvious, masturbation is one of life’s greatest sources of sexual pleasure, thrilling in itself, a release from tension, a sweet sedative before sleep, a beauty treatment that leaves us glowing, our countenance more tranquil, our smile more mysterious. As one of the women in this book puts it, “Masturbation and fantasy is when I am most honest about myself. “