We all get lonely. A relative visits every year and always asks you the same question-- do you have a girlfriend yet? You go to a restaurant alone, and people stare. You go to a theater to watch a movie alone, and people stare. Your life seems empty and you feel unfulfilled. Your parents and relatives gossip about your nonexistent love life behind your back. You tell a friend about your life and the friend replies, “you need to get out more.” You look out the window down
the street, and you see happy smiling couples, and it makes you feel depressed, like you want to sleep or have a beer. Sound familiar? It should. Every one feels lonely at times. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t.
But the good news is, it’s not permanent, and it’s curable. But before you start accusing yourself of being a failure, pick up a newspaper and look at the personal ads.They're full of lonely people. Then go to a store and look at the magazine rack. Check out the classified advertisement sections in back of the magazines. Get on the Internet and access IRC Chat or VP Chat. Full of lonely people, no doubt! Go to the store and then look at all the front covers of all the major women's magazines-- they all have an article or two on the things a (lonely) woman might possibly do to attract a relationship. If you look around you hard enough, you'll find advertisements for matchmaking services, video dating, computer dating, and phone services for lonely people. Prince Charles was lonely. Lady Diana was lonely. Celebrities are lonely and unfulfilled. Everyone’s lonely. Nobody’s getting what they really want.
I have a friend who recently graduated from college and applied for a job as an engineer. There were only 3 job openings and 400 people applied for the job. He didn't get the job, and he tried to convince me that it was his fault that he didn't get the job. He only had a 3/400ths chance of
winning-- but he said it was his fault. Maybe we're all like my friend. We all act as if everybody else has the perfect partner except us. But I challenge you to visit 50 friends. Take a look at the parents of these friends, and then ask yourself how many of these people are what you consider attractive? How many would you personally marry? Chances are, none of these people have the perfect mate. Everyone has settled for less than perfect.
Society doesn't give us good odds. On TV people are portrayed as good-looking confident free individuals, and they casually walk up to complete strangers and introduce themselves without causing suspicion. But in real life society, a lone man couldn’t walk up to an attractive woman without arousing thoughts such as, “Maybe he's an emotionally insecure person,” or “maybe he has no friends, or he could be a psycho, a possible stalker, a weirdo.” In real life people are locked into cliques-- small social groups at school or family or at work, and normally they only interact with these few people. Only by networking within these cliques can a stranger meet additional friends.
There’s also the opportunity factor. It is said that most people meet their life partner in school. But many people have to work part time to pay for school. They study long hours to graduate, and then take jobs in hard studying fields such as engineering. They never get the chance to meet partners or learn the ins and outs of courting. They may have money, but that's all they have. There are millions of lonely people out there merely because life didn't give them much
chance to meet people. So now that we know the odds of escaping loneliness are very slim-- the question is, what should we do about it?
the street, and you see happy smiling couples, and it makes you feel depressed, like you want to sleep or have a beer. Sound familiar? It should. Every one feels lonely at times. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t.
But the good news is, it’s not permanent, and it’s curable. But before you start accusing yourself of being a failure, pick up a newspaper and look at the personal ads.They're full of lonely people. Then go to a store and look at the magazine rack. Check out the classified advertisement sections in back of the magazines. Get on the Internet and access IRC Chat or VP Chat. Full of lonely people, no doubt! Go to the store and then look at all the front covers of all the major women's magazines-- they all have an article or two on the things a (lonely) woman might possibly do to attract a relationship. If you look around you hard enough, you'll find advertisements for matchmaking services, video dating, computer dating, and phone services for lonely people. Prince Charles was lonely. Lady Diana was lonely. Celebrities are lonely and unfulfilled. Everyone’s lonely. Nobody’s getting what they really want.
I have a friend who recently graduated from college and applied for a job as an engineer. There were only 3 job openings and 400 people applied for the job. He didn't get the job, and he tried to convince me that it was his fault that he didn't get the job. He only had a 3/400ths chance of
winning-- but he said it was his fault. Maybe we're all like my friend. We all act as if everybody else has the perfect partner except us. But I challenge you to visit 50 friends. Take a look at the parents of these friends, and then ask yourself how many of these people are what you consider attractive? How many would you personally marry? Chances are, none of these people have the perfect mate. Everyone has settled for less than perfect.
Society doesn't give us good odds. On TV people are portrayed as good-looking confident free individuals, and they casually walk up to complete strangers and introduce themselves without causing suspicion. But in real life society, a lone man couldn’t walk up to an attractive woman without arousing thoughts such as, “Maybe he's an emotionally insecure person,” or “maybe he has no friends, or he could be a psycho, a possible stalker, a weirdo.” In real life people are locked into cliques-- small social groups at school or family or at work, and normally they only interact with these few people. Only by networking within these cliques can a stranger meet additional friends.
There’s also the opportunity factor. It is said that most people meet their life partner in school. But many people have to work part time to pay for school. They study long hours to graduate, and then take jobs in hard studying fields such as engineering. They never get the chance to meet partners or learn the ins and outs of courting. They may have money, but that's all they have. There are millions of lonely people out there merely because life didn't give them much
chance to meet people. So now that we know the odds of escaping loneliness are very slim-- the question is, what should we do about it?
No comments:
Post a Comment